A couple of days ago, I made a quick note to myself.
There was something I had downloaded years ago and forgotten about. I couldn’t even remember what it was called anymore.
I wanted to find it.
That was it.
A tiny question.
I found it. I started going through it. I learned some things.
And then I got bored.
Which might sound like the end of the story.
It wasn’t.
Something I learned made me wonder if I could build something.
So I started experimenting.
One thing worked, which made me wonder about another thing. I needed to understand something to make the next part work, so I learned it. Then I built that part.
That created another question.
Learn. Build. Test. Wonder.
Before long, I had created something that hadn’t existed a day earlier.
And I was having so much fun.
Not because I had found My New Thing.
Not because I had figured out how to make money from it.
Not because it fit neatly into some larger plan.
I was learning.
I was figuring things out.
I was becoming capable of doing things I couldn’t do before.
I was creating something and watching it work.
And I felt alive.
That word has stayed with me.
Because lately I’ve been paying much more attention to what actually creates movement and energy in me.
Curiosity is a big part of it.
But I’m realizing curiosity isn’t only about wanting to know things.
For me, a question can start an entire chain reaction.
I wonder…
So I look.
I learn something.
That gives me something new to respond to.
I experiment.
I make something.
And suddenly I’m somewhere I couldn’t possibly have predicted when I started.
From the outside, I realize this can look a little ridiculous.
She was interested in that yesterday and now she’s doing this?
Another project?
Another rabbit hole?
Another direction?
I recently shared my excitement about something I had built and was reminded of how differently this process can look from the outside.
The reaction wasn’t what I’d hoped for.
And I noticed something about myself.
Comments like that can make me want to stop sharing.
Not stop exploring or learning or making things.
Stop sharing them.
That’s an important distinction.
Because I don’t share because I need someone to tell me what I’m doing is worthwhile.
I share because I think this is cool.
And maybe you will too.
Maybe it sparks an idea. Maybe it makes you curious. Maybe you simply enjoy seeing another human being ridiculously excited because she figured something out.
And maybe you won’t say anything at all.
I’ve learned over the years that some of the people I’ve inspired most were quiet.
Sometimes it was years later when I’d hear:
“Remember when you shared that thing…?”
And they’d tell me what it had meant to them.
So immediate response isn’t necessarily evidence of impact.
That’s worth remembering when the occasional response makes me want to become quieter.
And then, because apparently the universe has a sense of humor, Facebook showed me a memory this morning from exactly 17 years ago.
I’d written:
“Wishes people would just mind their own business sometimes. My life = my choices.”
Well.
Apparently this isn’t an entirely new research finding. 😂
But I understand it differently now.
Seventeen years ago, I knew I wanted the freedom to make my own choices.
Today, I understand a little more about how I make them.
I follow things that make me curious.
I learn.
I experiment.
I make things.
I follow what happens next.
Sometimes I lose interest.
Sometimes something that looked like a distraction leads directly into something that lights me up.
And sometimes the thread connecting one thing to the next is obvious only to me.
I’m becoming increasingly okay with that.
Because other people see the topic changes.
I experience the thread connecting them.
And I’m beginning to understand that the thread itself may matter more than the subjects it passes through.
Right now, I’m still following this particular one.
There are things I haven’t figured out yet. Things I still want to learn. Things I want to try building next.
And I am having an absurd amount of fun doing it.
So I’m going to keep sharing.
Not because everyone will understand why I’m interested in the things I’m interested in.
But because this stuff lights me up.
I feel alive.
And I’d rather share from that place than make myself smaller so my path makes more sense from the outside.
If you’re curious about the actual project that sent me down this particular rabbit hole, I’m sharing more of the behind-the-scenes experiments over in Curiosity Confluence on Skool.